I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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