At least make sure they are 18
Why
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
