I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
