either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
