Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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