Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
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