Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
