Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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