Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
