I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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