One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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