Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
