Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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