i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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