Porn is love you can see.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
