Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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