sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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