Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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