hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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