Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
