break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
