I want to make a zoo with you.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
