Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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