i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
