I feel like I'm in dance class right now
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
