dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
