It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
