The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
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