Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she looked like the before picture.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
do herpes really smell.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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