after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
