He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
