I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
