why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
