and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
