Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
