I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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