my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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