I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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