I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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