So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
