Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
