Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
