therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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