this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You can't special order awesome
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
