doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
