I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
