some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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