Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
