Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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