one might say we're banned from that church
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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