i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
